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Jodi C.
Jodi C.
Survivor

Tracey E.
Tracey E.
Survivor

Babe & Jean
Babe & Jean
Caregiver & Family

Emily D.
Emily D.
Survivor

Valerie G-S
Valerie G-S
Survivor

Barbara V.

Was it all just a dream?
Was it all just a dream?

Survivor

Was it all just a dream?

My clear dreams during hospitalization after a hemmorhagic stroke, perhaps while in a coma.

(I could see through walls and hear people outside, or maybe it was all just a dream.)

At 38 years of age, I had never imagined having a brain aneurysm burst.

I was mad at everyone and everything, but then again, look at the situation at work. A lot of nastiness was incubating in that microbiology laboratory. Work had left me awfully stressed. But why was I in a hospital bed? Perhaps, that day I fell on the parking lot ice and hit my head was more serious than I thought. Or did I accidently take a medicine that was contraindicated to my prescriptions? Maybe a genetic tendency toward hemorrhages existed in my family. After all, two years prior my mother had died from a brain aneurysm.

As can be imagined, it was a huge and blurry surprise to find myself in a hospital, upstairs from the very lab in which I worked. I remember that my vision was unclear the night before as I looked through the microscope. I had even gone home early. And I had a bad headache the next morning. But here I was in a Critical Care Unit awakening from a coma. Not able to think clearly, my brainwaves seemed to swim around in my skull, unable to stop and anchor for even a nanosecond. Oddly, it was under these very circumstances from which I recall these crystal-clear dreams. I call them my 'coma dreams' for lack of a better name. They still seem awfully real, even though I can't remember much else from those three weeks of hospitalization.

I flew once standing up. I flew to a hospital in the town of the university I once attended, some 20 years prior. I can't say that I was very mature in the 1970's and my life was in turmoil most of the time. So why would I drop into the local hospital for some treatment now? Once settled into a room, I could hear demons chanting from the floors above and below me. And was terrified! I kept very quiet, very still. What did they want with me?

I also went to a football game. The stadium was located directly behind my current hospital unit. A visiting friend was dressed in team colors and on her way to the football showdown. I heard the crowd outside cheering and wanted to join them. Pretty tricky from Intensive Care!

The nurse pushed my wheelchair to a psychiatrist's office for a talk. Obviously, I needed some counseling. I watched her push me through the door! Oops-that had to be a dream. Especially since I was never transferred into a wheelchair until I was moved to the rehab clinic.

And later, mysteriously, I was transported to a space station out in the cosmos. I saw a pie-shaped glass room with me resting on a hospital bed in the very center. We could see beautiful twinkling stars and planets, endlessly reaching out in every direction. My husband (of just 1 year) and his friend, who happens to be a physician, were quietly discussing something. I thought they were discussing my future, or more precisely, where I was to go from here. I didn't get the idea that it was going to be back to earth.

I suppose that a Freudian psychiatrist could interpret the meaning behind these dreams. They may determine that I had a fear of change, an underlying desire to see what my future had in store. That would be understandably true. An understatement. Yet I believe that it was more likely that those dreams were God and I having a conversation about my future prospects. I'm so glad that I went with his pick.

 

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Display of the Faces of Stroke stories does not imply National Stroke Association's endorsement of any product, treatment, service or entity. National Stroke Association strongly recommends that people ask a healthcare professional about diagnosis and treatment questions before using any product, treatment or service. The views expressed through the stories reflect those of the authors and do not reflect the opinion of National Stroke Association.

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