Gemma H.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
By: Gemma Hudson

Survivor

No Longer Afraid

Everyone knows that a stroke can leave physical problems for people to have to live with. But most people don't realize how debilitating the fear and anxiety can be that comes after having a stroke. That is something that we can all get rid of.

I was always healthy my whole life. I ate responsibly (with the occasional treat, of course), exercised daily and was at my ideal weight and continued that after having my four children. There was a history of diabetes in my family and I thought if I am going to get it then at least I'll be in better shape to control it. I turned 33 and was as active as I had ever been. Feeling great. Then one day, very unexpectedly, I had a stroke.

It was a normal day and I was going about my daily routines. All of a sudden, my head had this weird pressure in it and I was extremely dizzy to the point that I could not walk straight at all. I was nauseous and vomiting often. (I also had a problem with my left eye not moving the way it was supposed to that I did not realize at the time.) It was very disturbing and I knew it could not have been good but I still did not think it would be something as serious as a stroke. I thought strokes only happened to people with weight or drug issues and I had neither. It went on for a few hours (maybe 8 or so) before the doctors came back with the diagnosis. (The ER was very busy that day.) There were actual times when I thought I might die and I prayed the whole time for God to spare my life for my children. The symptoms resided more and more and after about 6 weeks my eye was back to normal, too. But now I was terrified. Will this happen again? Where will I be when it does? Will it be worse next time? Will I even make it the next time? Will my kids be o.k.? There was never a time that these fears were not with me and I thought my life would never have the happiness and peace that it used to. But thank God I know how to pray. I prayed for strength, guidance, and faith. Little by little, I got to my normal self and eventually, I lost those fears and anxiety and began to live life without them again. I know God has a plan for me (and everyone) and it is a good one and I don't have anything to be afraid of if I stick with Him.

*It turned out that I had a PFO (small hole in heart) from birth and never knew. That is the only thing we could attribute the stroke to. I got it closed but have other complications from that but it's whatever. I know God is taking care of me, us, and He will help me through anything.