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Rebecca S

June 1, 2015

I am ... A Survivor

I survived my stroke a day before my 34th birthday. The day my life changed. The day i died i was a fulltime mom and worked i did it all now im just trying to survive. I'm as lmost 4months post Stroke i walked into the ER on 2-09-15 as nd left 6weeks lstr in a e heel chair. I M now getting aroind on a quad cane. But still trying to get use of my left arm and hand. I wish i could see myself through others eyes but i can't . I dont see my progress the same i can't help but focus on what i can't do. I haven't been able to accept what has happened to me i'm trying but i just can't. I seem to be depressed which is no fun.i dont live a decent life because its consumed by this.i will keep trying to better myself for me and my kids


Dear Rebecca, I joined here because of you. I wanted you to know. I had so many strokes i dont even know when they started. They were multiple and now that i think about it there was a day way months before that i had temporary paralysis in both legs and ofcourse it was gone when i got to the hospital so they looked at me like i was crazy and told me to eat a banana then sent me home. I had strokes for a long time after and i guess i didnt know or it was because people would not take me to the hospital. You see I have taken care of myself all of my life and as a result i guess i fell into the caregiver status of oour family taking care of everyone else. 

​I had a very strong depression after the last of my strokes and i would lie in my tub and cry so quietly so no one would know. I had been called so many things to my face and behind it because people thought i could not be as sick as i am at my age. I saw so much of the bad things in people every since i got sick but very little good. After my stroke and in the hospital my faith in people was finally renewed. There were soo many good people there. For years without insurance after i left my job thinking i was getting lazy i had no medical care at all not one thing or a drs visit or anything. I feel alot like im not worth anything or things will never get better but to be honest with you that feeling lasts for months after strokes not just 4 sweety. Its going to get better and if you keep trying to do what you cant you will get better at it. It takes work. I had aortic bypass and my entire aorta has been replaced now. And i remember months on end feeling like you do sitting at the kitchen nook just thinking its a job just to live now. My god it was a nightmare.

I am not quite a yr from all of this stuff and as a result of the artherialsclerosis needing attention for sooo many yrs while people said i was faking it. Now my kidney has shrunk from loss of blood flow to them. I have many diseases granulomatus kidney a tumor and thats just a few. You will get through this sweety just hang on and hang in there sweetheart. Remember to call stroke hotlines if you need someone to talk to and help you through. Or you can also ask your dr for a nurse to come and check on you because you feel like you cant handle stuff. 
Sometimes they will do that in some states. My dr decided i needed one i didnt know i could have that but i guess you can. Shes a great comfort to me. Her name is Misty. 

Theres more left hunny trust me. Learn to let people help. That was what was soooo hard for me.

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